A Son's Reflections on Sacrifice and Redemption

Richard Ly [00:00:00] So I go by Richard. I pick this up after high school. My full name is Hung  Chi Ly. And you know, I. Basically, I don't remember much because I came here in 1979. I was  five. So anything before five, I really don't remember. It's sad to know that I don't remember, you  know, where I was living in Vietnam. And so but based on what my sister and my dad told me,  that's all I, you know, kind of remember. As far as, you know, we lived in a three story home in  Saigon somewhere. My dad and I roll down the stairs, so I have like a little bump in my head in  the back, when I was young. So as far as coming to America. You know. They didn't talk much  about it. And when I was young, I never really asked much. So, you know, my parents always  worked. It was just basically work, work, work, you know. So we never got really. I never got to  ask what, you know, where, how we got here and things like that. I remember our boat crashed  somewhere outskirts of the Philippines, and I was holding on to my sister and she said that I  almost made her drown because I was holding on so hard, you know, and. So she was swimming  me in shore. And she was just telling me that we were at camp for lunch. And then we flew to  America. We got sponsored by a church in Lamesa, Texas. So I remember is our entry point was  that way. And then we flew to Lamesa Texas. It was a small town an hour south of Lubbock,  Texas.  

Interviewer [00:02:06] Wow. So you said that you were originally from Saigon and that's where  you were born?  

Richard Ly [00:02:11] Yes.  

Interviewer [00:02:12] Okay, wonderful. And what do you do today?  

Richard Ly [00:02:16] I am a chef. So I currently we just opened a Japanese restaurant. It's called  Awaji Izakaya. It's off of 122nd in Rockwell. And we've been there. I've open that for about three  months. Yeah.  

Interviewer [00:02:34] Wonderful. So tell me a little bit about what you remember in your  childhood.  

Richard Ly [00:02:39] So. Coming from Vietnam. I don't think. I remember everything that's  basically where I was, you know, when we arrived in Lemesa, Texas. I started. Oh, I did remember  something funny. Me and my dad, we rented a house, or we got sponsor and they put us in this  green house is just. The house was painted green, and me and him walked, like it was a very  small town at the time. Was probably like 1500 people. There's a few communities. A few  Vietnamese families there that were also sponsored. And we walked probably like two streets  down. And at that time, my dad remember telling me that coming to America, he only had like $5  left in his pocket. So we were just walking around and we got lost and it was just two streets  down and so funny. So we flagged down a police officer. And we didn't speak in English, but he  had an address and he showed the police officer and it was like okay, well get in. So he just drove  like two streets down, took us back. And, you know, we laughed about it after a while. You know,  it's like, okay, well, that was just kind of, you know, my dad was probably scared, you know,  coming here.  

Interviewer [00:04:06] Why do you think he was scared?  

Richard Ly [00:04:07] Just new place. You know, new place. He found a job working with the city.  So backtrack a little bit. As I'm talking to you, I kind of remember certain things. My dad told me  that he made really good money in Vietnam, so he was like a kind of like a contractor guy. Like, he  puts people together. Companies together. And, you know, he made money that way. And my  mom, I had a nanny, basically. My mom didn't, you know, took care of me, but my mom didn't  have to work in this and that. So, coming to America. You know, he pretty much, you know. When  you don't know English, you just get a job and do whatever. So he and, you know, working for the  city in construction. So he was the guy that was drilling, fixing the roads, you know, with a  jackhammer. You know, he got physical, basically doing whatever it takes just to provide for me  and my sister. And my mom didn't really work until later, so she knew how to sew. So she worked  with a sewing company and so was my sister. 

Interviewer [00:05:23] How much older is your sister?  

Richard Ly [00:05:26] So I'm about to turn 50. Which is. Can't believe I'm about to turn 50. But my  sister is 14 years older than I. So my dad passed, 2014. He almost, like December. So around  December. I was stuck here. And because of a cafe I kind of just opened and I missed that part.  I'm going to get emotional if I get in to it, but.  

Interviewer [00:06:04] We have tissues right there too.  

Richard Ly [00:06:06] Yeah. So. That was pretty tough. The restaurant just opened, and my sister  gave me a call on Saturday, and. I'm going to pause a bit, and he. She told me. Hey, you need to  come back to your dad. That time the restaurant is open. Yeah. And the owners were like we  really need you. And I say, okay, sis I'll be back next week. Monday morning, I got a call. He  passed away. 48. So it's pretty tough. You know. It's. I kind of regret. Sorry.  

Interviewer [00:06:52] No, don't be sorry. Take your time.  

Richard Ly [00:06:56] It's hard for me still and I'm 50 years old now. I tell myself it's never going to  happen again. So my mom's 87, 88 now. and it's just. Even I have a partner now with the  restaurant. I said if anything ever happens or if I get a phone call, I'm gone. You know. I dont care.  We just shut down the restaurant or whatever, and I can't do that again. Since I didn't get to see  my dad that final time. It was hard.  

Interviewer [00:07:46] Have you talked to your sister and kind of captured her recollections of  what life was like, in Vietnam as well as for with your mom and your dad.  

Richard Ly [00:07:56] I haven't. And I think I should. Next time I go visit them. And, you know,  that's a good question. It's just, we our family is not rich. You know, we came from a poor  background. Well, no, my dad was rich in Vietnam, I can say. But when we got to America, you  know, we we didn't have nothing left. This is all I have, basically. Jewelry wise from my mom. You  know, as they're coming in here, pirates and things like that, they have to give away stuff. So this  is the only thing I have left. Pure silver. And I've been wearing it. My mom gave it to me when I  was very young. And I've been wearing it ever since.  

Interviewer [00:08:40] That's a beautiful necklace.  

Richard Ly [00:08:42] Yeah. It's just this is the only memory I have for whatever's left from  Vietnam. 

Interviewer [00:08:47] What do you think your mom gave you that necklace?  Richard Ly [00:08:52] Maybe just to tell me that this is what you need to remember.  Interviewer [00:08:57] What does it mean to you?  

Richard Ly [00:09:00] It's whatever my family have left from Vietnam. Basically. Because of the  war. They just gave up everything for us. So. So, ups and downs. Growing up in America, it's  definitely different. You know, I think it would have been different if I grew up there. You know, my  sister was in high school. She studied. She speaks three languages versus I lost my Vietnamese.  We're actually. I speak Cantonese. I understand a little bit of Vietnamese. My mom speaks  Vietnamese, Cantonese. My sister speaks Vietnamese, Cantonese and Mandarin, and she knows  how to read and write. Which I'm the dumb one. I don't know how to read or write, Chinese or  Vietnamese. So, you know, my first language is basically English. You know, I speak Cantonese  and I learn Mandarin in the States. Just working, picking it up with people that I work with. But.  You know. Now. When I was young, I didn't see whatmy parents were going through. But being  now. They went through so much. I mean, literally just went through so much.  

Interviewer [00:10:23] Can you share a little bit more about what they went through? 

Richard Ly [00:10:26] Yeah, they I mean, my mom, my dad. All they did was work, you know, it  was constant work. We really didn't have like. You know, you watching movies, you know, you got  that family time, I mean, you. Everybody gets together and all that. So our family, when we get  together, we didn't talk much about the family. It's kind of weird. It was just getting together and  eat my will make. My mom makes the best food. We. But it's always work. You know, my dad  gets up early in the morning, he goes to work, you know. And in Lamesa, I didn't really remember  much because I was so young. I remember I went to fourth grade, I started, like, elementary. I  actually, I started elementary. Rogers Elementary is what I remember. You know, we I think we  lived there for about a year, and then we moved to Dallas. And we lived in an apartment in  Richardson. And a very young age. You know, I pretty much was alone. You know, my sister went  to. She went to her. I don't know if she went to high school, but she had to go to work. He went to  work. My mom went to work. And at a young age, you know, they probably would have gotten in  trouble. Back in the days, in the 80s. But, you know, I was on my own. You know, I went to  school, went home. My mom would have food for me. You know, I pretty much did everything on  my own. Cause they didn't really speak English. My sister didn't really speak English at the time.  She did a little bit, better than you know. I'm the only one that actually went to school and learn  English, so. It was all about work. You know, when we moved to Dallas, my dad got out of the  construction business, so it wasn't. He wasn't as tough, you know, working in the streets and hot,  you know, and all that. But. He, furnished this. Electronic company at the time. And, you know,  minimum wage was like $3.25. At the time. So. My mom worked at a sewing company for the  longest time as well. Owned by a Vietnamese family. So they all worked there and my sister work  there. My mom can't drive.  

Richard Ly [00:13:10] So my dad had to drive everywhere, and my sister had to drive her  everywhere. But my dad worked at this company as for 11 years and before he retired. Not a day  he was late. Not a day he was off. The determination for him. That was crazy. He was. And he got  a plaque. They rewarded him and. He was never late. And never off. Ever. If he was sick, he'd still  be there. So. That's the things I see about him. And he was very hard on me. When there's times  that he'll yell at me and that I didn't understand why. But. Sad thing was, he started at $3.25.  Ended up at like maybe $6.50, $6.75. It was like a quarter range per certain times. Right. So I get  out of high school and I started working and it was like I made more than him. In high school.  Just. And. Well, I didn't make more than him in high school, but the part time job I got was like  $5.50 at the time. Which is catching up to him. So. Fortunately, I chose a path that I didn't  continue school. Because my parents, they needed money as well. So I've worked. I worked for. I  got out of school and I work for this computer company. And at that time I was like, maybe 19 ish.  You know, I was making $8.50 where my dad was still making around $6.75. And those were  changing times. And I could never tell him how much because he was just. And it would had been  awful, you know, in. So basically it's. All they thought about was work, work, work, work. And it's  hard for me to sit here today just thinking about it. It's like I never asked about my family. I was  going to bring a picture of my family. Like my grandfather.  

Richard Ly [00:15:42] The whole family. Sisters and brothers and the cousins and all that. But I  couldn't find it. It was. You know, I know I put it in a box somewhere and it was a picture of my  mom my dad's wedding picture. And my mom, when she was young. She was beautiful, beautiful  lady. And I had a little family picture with all the kids, and then my sister was in it. I wasn't born  yet. And. I've never met my uncles. They were still in Vietnam. Some of them are in America. Most  of them already passed away, but. You know, we like. They never talked about that. And it was so  weird that, like, our family wasn't a family. Sort of like we don't talk about things. It was all. It was  always portrayed is work, work, work. You need to make money. You need to work, you need to  make money. And that was that's how I grew up, you know, there was no. Talking about our. You  know, what happened and things like that. And now I'm talking about in this interview, you know,  it's waking me up a little bit where, you know, the next time I need to really talk to my sister about  it because she's always working as well. You know, it's constant battle and working. You know,  my mom's getting old now, and. She's just. You know, I wish I can bring her here. But. She's  taking care of my mother. And as you know, as she's getting older and, you know. There's more  issues and things like that. You know, when my dad was old and he had, you know, prostate  cancer when I was still in Dallas, I'm the one that was taking him everywhere and doing this and  that. He survived all of that. My dad, when he passed away, I didn't get to see him, unfortunately,  but. You know. I think. It's probably the best way to go because he passed in his sleep. With no  pain. Whatsoever. And you know. That's the good side of it. He didn't even suffer. 

Interviewer [00:17:59] That's great.  

Richard Ly [00:18:00] He just went in his sleep. 

Interviewer [00:18:07] So let's take it back a little bit. What do you remember or what have you  learned since then about the journey itself from the time that you left Vietnam to actually coming  to the States?  

Richard Ly [00:18:22] I think the journey for them was pretty rough. All I know is my sister told me  that, you know, there was just constant pirates. You know, that our lives were in danger.  Constantly as we're traveling through, you know, the boat crashed. And unfortunately, I don't  remember how long we were in camp and we stayed in camp in the Philippines. They just, you  know. I think my mom, my dad just gave up everything they had. Just for the two of us.  

Interviewer [00:19:04] Do you have an idea of how many may have been in that boat with you and  your family? How long you may have been out at sea?  

Richard Ly [00:19:13] That I don't remember. Unfortunately.  

Interviewer [00:19:16] That's okay.  

Richard Ly [00:19:17] Unfortunately I don't. Those are the questions that I never asked. You know,  it never came to my mind to ask. And. And it's just. You know, with this interview right now, it's  just a pretty rude awakening. Like, I don't know why we never talked about that. You know, and all  I can say it was just work. You know, that's what's implied in my mind, right? You need to work.  You need to make money. You need to survive. You know, need to put food on the table. That was  it for them.  

Interviewer [00:19:55] What can you share about your sponsorships?  

Richard Ly [00:19:59] It was a church in Lemesa, Texas. It was a Christian church. So we went to  church mainly on Sundays. I think they sponsored three families. I remember meeting the other  family that lived there. And we all, they all actually just dissipated in time. We lost contact with  them and things like that. I don't know who they were. I was just too young at the tone.  

Interviewer [00:20:32] And so your family, didn't really connect with them for a long period of time  where it was more immersive in the two families or two, the cultures.  

Richard Ly [00:20:42] They connected. I think we moved to Dallas and they moved somewhere  else. And after a while it was. You know, again, it was just my parents just kept to themselves  mainly. They didn't have much friends. They have, you know, two people that I know. That's still,  you know, in Dallas that they they still talk to you. My sister doesn't have much friends at all. I'm  the bad person. So I have a bunch of friends. I was the wild kid. So, they're just kept to themselve  mainly. It's more like very private. Like they don't, you know.  

Interviewer [00:21:32] What do you think would take for them to kind of open up and kind of  address that trauma or those experiences that they may have had back then?  

Richard Ly [00:21:44] I think for me, just asking. You know, I plan on going home. So with me  opening a restaurant right now, it's just tough, but I'm planning on it soon. I have to go. I haven't  seen my mom in a while. But before I opened, you know, I'd go as much as I could. When I was  off I drive back Dallas. Visit her.  

Interviewer [00:22:08] Do you think they would be receptive to you or your questions? And what  are some of the questions that you really want to know?  

Richard Ly [00:22:15] I really don't know. How we. The journey here. You know, this interview.  Kind of woke me up quite a bit. The journey here and how, you know why we never talked about  it. 

Interviewer [00:22:38] So what was it like for you growing up? You know, as a young child on your  own, what did you do to keep yourself busy and stay out of trouble?  

Richard Ly [00:22:49] I just try to have a lot of friends and, you know. I hadn't. Mainly I had to walk  to school every day and. I learned violin in high school, but, you know, carrying the violin. I had to  give that up. Just walking to school. I mean, I played sports, I played tennis, you know, in high  school. Or in junior high, actually. Middle of junior high or freshman year, my parents moved to  Garland, which kind of really changed my whole direction. I wouldn't blame them because they  didn't know what Garland was. So in junior high, I hang out with everybody. It was a completely  different school. You know, it's. Being on the tennis team. You know, I knew all the football players  and then, you know, everybody. I was just a guy like I friendly to everybody and. What they didn't  understand was moving middle of my freshman year or actually my sophomore year in high  school. And moved right in semester two. And then I went to a completely new school. Where I  grew up with all these people since, you know, junior high. So you got a bunch of elementary  schools in Richardson. Went to this one junior high. So there I was from seventh, eighth and ninth.  So the three years there, I made a lot of friends who all went to high school together. In  sophomore year, they moved me, moved. And then I had to move obviously. I landed in this  school that I didn't know anybody. In the middle of the year. And what the scariest part was in this  school, it was kind of segregated. So it's weird because when I went to lunch, I didn't know  anybody, so I just kept to myself. So I went to lunch and I walk into the cafeteria. Unsurprisingly, I  see, okay. Where am I going to sit? Right. I don't know anybody. Sad part was you have the  Asians in Asian Group, one table. Then you have the African-Americans in a table and you have  the Latinos in one table. So it's kind of segregated And it was kind of weird for me. Coming from a  school that everybody just. We all knew each other. It was a mixture of different people, different  crowds and whatever, what not. Here was just Asians, african-Americans, football players,  Latinos.  

Interviewer [00:25:55] So what was your what was your plan? What was your strategy?  

Richard Ly [00:25:58] Well, I sat at a very corner by myself because I didn't know anyone on the  Asian table, obviously. And a guy walked over and, you know, introduced me kind of pull me in. In  that school, I hate to say it, I went from a straight-A student to a C student because that school  was. You had to fight to survive, basically.  

Interviewer [00:26:30] Can you share a little bit about your personal experience having to fight for  that?  

Richard Ly [00:26:36] It was tough. I never told my parents. You know, things like that. That. You  know, I try to stay on the tennis team. I joined the tennis team there and just did my thing that,  you know, we had to get together. You know, it was. You have to stay together with your own  race, basically. If not, you're going to get either get picked on. By some other race. Or, you know,  there's going to be a fight or something. I mean, going up there. It wasn't as bad as after I  graduated, but it. I try to just stay not involved in all that, trying to do tennis, but, you know, it  comes to you. You know, even if you're trying to stay away. You know. I remember having, in class  there was a big fight from somebody else, and it turned into like the Latinos against Asians. And it  was just. You had to be careful. You know, you would get jumped or whatever whatnot. I  remember one one time in class, I got pulled to the principal's office and I didn't know what was  going on. So the principal was like, there was a report that you had a gun in your car, and it was  like, what. Somebody's girlfriend, whatever said I had a gun in my car. So I'm you like, we need to  check your car. And at that time I was young, I didn't know I could have refused or whatever. Then  they did tell me it was like we were going to wait for the police officers to get here. Or can we  search you because they go and search you do whatever you want. Because I don't have a gun in  the car. So that's pretty scary. I mean, just getting pulled out in class. And principal, you know, get  a note, the in your whole classrooms like, okay, well, who's getting getting in trouble. He's going  to the principal's office, you know, and it turned out just, you just had to survive. It was a  completely different world from one city to the next city. And Garland was a. Basically, Garland,  Texas was more of a Vietnamese community. So Dallas at that time was big Vietnamese  community. So there's Garland and there's Arlington. Those two communities where, you know, 

big on Vietnamese population culture and, you know, my parents live the house and there's just 3  or 4 grocery stores next to them. And, you know, they're they're still there to this day.  

Interviewer [00:29:34] Wow.  

Richard Ly [00:29:34] And. Everywhere around the neighborhood. You know, it's mainly  Vietnamese people. In that neighborhood in particular it's like eight, seven out of ten houses are  Vietnamese families.  

Interviewer [00:29:54] Do you still have family in Vietnam and have you been back?  Richard Ly [00:29:57] I have never been back to Vietnam.  

Interviewer [00:30:00] Do you plan to go back one day?  

Richard Ly [00:30:03] I might, it's just I don't. I wouldn't even know where to start. You know, I  want to see the culture. But I wouldn't even know where to start. Like, I don't even read or, you  know, speak Vietnamese. And I don't have any family in Vietnam anymore that I know of. I've  talked to a cousin. Once through like I think it was email, but it's like we don't. We're so distant  that we don't even know each other really. I know a couple of cousins. My sister told me like  couple of them became doctors. They went to school are there doctors in Vietnam. Nurses and  doctors. So that's pretty cool. You know, in. They all are very, very smart. But because we come  to America, we didn't get that opportunity. You know, so. When I think about all that, if we stayed  in Vietnam, you know, what would I be now?  

Interviewer [00:31:23] What do you think you would be now?  

Richard Ly [00:31:26] I always wanted to be like a lawyer or something. Even as a kid.  Interviewer [00:31:30] Why's that?  

Richard Ly [00:31:35] Because it was embedded like, you know, like I watch a lot of criminal  activity movies and things like that. I just always wanted to help people. But I never had a chance.  Well, I wouldn't say I never had a chance. I just, you know. I chose a different path, basically.  Based on how I grew up, how when we moved in and into that school, just changed my whole  deal. Like I said, I was as A student. You know. There was four people there that was Cantonese,  Vietnamese, and we were the fourth. Out of the four, two graduated with a diploma and I was one  of them. The other one was Cody, which he owns a restaurant as well now. But he's the only one  that I talked to still to this day. The other two chose a way different path.  

Interviewer [00:32:30] So what do you think your parents would, say or how how they would react  or feel if you were a lawyer today?  

Richard Ly [00:32:44] They will probably be the same because no matter what I did my mom  always encouraged me. She never made me do this or made me do that. She wasn't that parent,  like most Asian parents. Like you need to learn piano. You do this. You need to do all kinds of  things. But she never pushed me. She always let me do what I did. Could that have been wrong?  Maybe. But, you know, she's. Every time I go back and see her and when I leave, she tears up. So  that's pretty hard. But she's proud of me for sure. You know, she's proud of me because she  knows that I made it through. And I'm not the kid that was in jail, basically. You know I'm still here.  So growing up there, you know, she hear things, this and that. And like I said, just, you know, out  of the four closest, you know, growing up together, two graduate and we're still out and the other  two just went on the deep end. So I'm no longer in connection, but they, you know. Kind of lot of  trouble.  

Interviewer [00:34:07] And you managed to stay out of trouble? 

Richard Ly [00:34:13] Managed.  

Interviewer [00:34:15] And you've been in, you said, I think Oklahoma City since 2013. 

Richard Ly [00:34:19] Yes.  

Interviewer [00:34:20] How would you say Oklahoma has changed since you've been here?  

Richard Ly [00:34:24] Oklahoma. Ten years ago, when I told Patrick from cafe, I kind of said, you  know. Oklahoma is going to become the next Dallas. But ten years apart. So Oklahoma City's  always been ten, ten years apart from what Dallas was. When I was growing up in Dallas, there  was two lanes on Central Expressway. Well, Dallas is now 5 or 6 lanes, you know, on the same  highway. Traffic's terrible. Oklahoma now, it's getting there, you know. But they're so slow in  building roads that they're not going to be. Like the next five years, you're going to see a  tremendous amount of population coming in. Tremendous amount of Asian population for sure.  It's already happening. You know, if you. When I came here ten years ago, there was not much.  Right. And now you see the population of, you know, even the governor saying it's increased. You  know, millions and whatnot, 100,000 whatever it was. But, you know, the Asian population is  definitely growing. You know, it's kind of funny, like when you're. We live. I live in Edmond and,  you know, you don't really see much Asian people. If do, you know, you run into Walmart or  whatnot. And everywhere you go you really don't see much. You know, even if you go to Asian  restaurant, you see a certain amount of people. But it's funny is when we have a gathering or  Asian Chamber of Commerce or has a festival, you know, with the Asian festivals and things like  that. And then you see, like, where are all these people coming from? You know, it's a very  surprising like. Where are you guys coming from? It's like wait, wait, just a second. Where all  these population of Vietnamese culture coming from? And I think Oklahoma is a little bit different  from Dallas where it's secluded in certain areas, like for Garland or Farmington. Here it's just all  spread out. You know, we're everywhere in Oklahoma City.  

Interviewer [00:36:41] Yeah, that really surprised me too.  

Richard Ly [00:36:44] It's like sometimes, it's really. So the ten years I pretty much, we. You know,  as I'm getting older, and I guess I'd say getting wiser. I don't go out as much as I used to. You  know, pretty much we stay home. We work. I have a plan for the future. I don't want to be working  as much as you know. I just want to be able to live comfortably in the next ten years, basically.  You know, trying to get a plan to not work as hard. Where my sister still, you know, having to sew  and this and that. And they never really had a plan. You know and I've been trying to help her as  much as I can. You know, her husband's old as well, retired. And, you know, all they have is the  house now.  

Interviewer [00:37:39] Do you have children?  

Richard Ly [00:37:40] No, unfortunately, I do not. It's kind of weird. My sister can have children,  and I. We tried for six years. She's my wife. Vicki, she's like 47, you know. So, we just stopped.  She had a son. So I have a stepson, but I never had my own. We tried adopting, but. It's sad to  say that the city, when you try to adopt it cost so much, you know. And so we just ended up my  

kids are my dogs. So. 

Interviewer [00:38:24] Same.  

Richard Ly [00:38:26] Yeah.  

Interviewer [00:38:28] So as we wrap up, what is the message or the legacy or the hope that you  have with this interview, this podcast, and with you sharing your story?  

Richard Ly [00:38:41] I hope somebody hears this. And if they're young, you know. Just do things  more wisely and smartly and think about what you're doing day to day. You know, if you get into a  jam, try to walk away from it. You know, because when I was young, you know, I was forced into  something that I didn't. You know, I didn't choose it. I didn't get to choose it, but. As I, right now.  You know, there was a lot of times that I could have walked away from getting in trouble. And if  somebody ever hears this and you're young, they're going through the same thing. Best thing to  do is walk away. 

Interviewer [00:39:31] If you're comfortable in sharing, could you tell us a little bit about maybe  one incident or one event that maybe you wish you had done something differently?  

Richard Ly [00:39:43] Peer pressure. Just getting to fight. Basically helping your friends out when I  could have walked away or getting to a shoving match. And, you know, you just had to fight to  survive. I don't know. I can say I could have walked away from it because there's times where.  Incident where like. If your peer pressured into doing something, and it caused you to be, you  know. When you get caught, they're. you thought they we're friends, but when you get caught  they weren't your friends. I guess you can say that. So. You know, simple thing of doing a just  going to steal something basically. You know you're peer pressured into doing it. It's fun, your  young, and all that. Until you get caught. Then you realize okay well, they're not really your  friends. That would be one incident I can say. I've gotten in a lot of trouble when I was young. You  know, I wasn't the great kid that I should have been, you know? And, my parents bail me out of  jail multiple times. They didn't really know why my sister did. But my sister never really told my  mom. And why? Really? What happened? You know. I'm the lucky one out of the group that you  know. I maintained and stayed out of that life. As much as I could. Technically because of those  people, friends or whatever, whatnot. You know, you're always out drinking and always doing this.  And that's one part of the reason why I decided to move to Oklahoma City as well. I just wanted  to get away from all that. Luckily, I did, so.  

Interviewer [00:42:16] So I have one last question for you. If your dad or your mom or both of  them were sitting right next to you right now, what would you like to say to them?  

Richard Ly [00:42:25] I would say, thank you very much. I love you very much. You sacrificed so  much for me. Just. I was just young and stupid. And I wish I could have been a better son. It's  very hard. I made a lot of mistakes that I can't take back. Just want to tell them I love them. Thank  them very much for what they did. What they sacrificed. I didn't know when I was young that. I  just. That I didn't mean to be a bad kid. And, you know, they sacrificed so much for me, and I  didn't even realize it. Until now. No, not really now. But, you know, till I got older. But luckily, I'm  still okay. You know. Luckily, I'm not the one that's in jail right now. Sitting in a cell. And I pull  myself away from all that. So, that's what I would say to them.